“Babe, kenapa delete conversation dekat Twitter?”
I don’t know how to explain my actions. I never let a
conversation stay in my timeline. Ever. I delete them a day after I post them.
I hate being judged online. I hate it when people see the
way I speak in real life (because it’s pretty much how I say things online).
This is going to sound weird but I hate being portrayed and seen as ‘fine’. I
hate it when people think that I don’t have a problem.
Most of my tweets and retweets consists of sadness and pain,
about being strong, about being forgotten. And I love them that way. I barely
tweet things myself. I just other people speak for me. I hate to see my own
post on my own timeline. I hate it when I’m not silent.
I used to think that tweeting about everything everyday was
fun and harmless until I got into a fight with a bunch of people over a bunch
of tweets. I learned my lesson and it changed me. I don’t see the point of
talking if people don’t want to know about it or if it hurts people. I don’t see
the point if telling if it’s only going to make me hurt and uncomfortable.
I have lived in sadness for years, and when I don’t feel it,
I feel nothing. I feel the need to feel sad. I feel the need to be silent. I am
happy in my sorrows.
I’m sorry if anyone ever felt like I don’t care about them
or how rude of me to be deleting the conversations. I mean what I say; I just
don’t feel comfortable enough to let the public know about me.