04 January 2015


“Babe, kenapa delete conversation dekat Twitter?”

I don’t know how to explain my actions. I never let a conversation stay in my timeline. Ever. I delete them a day after I post them.

I hate being judged online. I hate it when people see the way I speak in real life (because it’s pretty much how I say things online). This is going to sound weird but I hate being portrayed and seen as ‘fine’. I hate it when people think that I don’t have a problem.

Most of my tweets and retweets consists of sadness and pain, about being strong, about being forgotten. And I love them that way. I barely tweet things myself. I just other people speak for me. I hate to see my own post on my own timeline. I hate it when I’m not silent.

I used to think that tweeting about everything everyday was fun and harmless until I got into a fight with a bunch of people over a bunch of tweets. I learned my lesson and it changed me. I don’t see the point of talking if people don’t want to know about it or if it hurts people. I don’t see the point if telling if it’s only going to make me hurt and uncomfortable.

I have lived in sadness for years, and when I don’t feel it, I feel nothing. I feel the need to feel sad. I feel the need to be silent. I am happy in my sorrows.

I’m sorry if anyone ever felt like I don’t care about them or how rude of me to be deleting the conversations. I mean what I say; I just don’t feel comfortable enough to let the public know about me.