25 December 2016

It's just a little crush.

I know that I have no right to talk about you. I mean, I still look away everytime you open your phone or you laptop. Seeing your wallpaper hurts me. I don't even understand this thing between us. I wonder if it's me alone who's misreading the 'signs' and you're really playing me, or the fact that this thing goes both ways.

You never let me pay for my own things now, like my food or drink, sometimes the movie tickets, the gas money, the extra little printings. You're always just pushing my hand away, making sure that you actually touch my skin against yours, to refuse the money I always try to give you. The texts you send, the things you say, the secret jokes you'rs trying to imply, saying that the only thing stopping you is the wrong timing, how we never discuss about sensitive issues, how you're just always there to lend a hand, how you respond to me, how magnetic we seem to be, the shoulder and arm nudged and snuggled against mine during movies, oh well, it'll take a whole day to list out the things that you're doing more and more for me but everytime you do, I always ask myself what you were actually doing and why you did it. Am I important to you as much as I think I am? Do you find yourself attracted to me? Am I the only one who feels this way?