02 November 2015

I hate what you did to me.

Assalamualaikum ~

I used to build a sanctuary for myself. Nobody was in it. I was alone but I was happy. I was happy where I was in my head.n I had a tree as a friend ad that was enough for me. Talking to that tree made me happy. Because it listened. It didn't judge. It couldn't say a thing but it was okay. I didn't need response, I didn't need approval. I just needed a listener.

I was a depressed kid. For five years, I lived in sadness. True, it was just because I fell too hard on my knees in love, but it's no reason to compare my stage and level and reason of depression to others. "People have it worse than you. Be grateful. Some other people lost their loved ones or are dealing with cancer so you should feel grateful." Thanks. Thanks for that unnecessary, judgmental feedback.

I can just get out of bed when I want to, right?  My fatigue didn't matter. I could stop myself from crying on the bathroom floor, right? Because I wasn't dealing with cancer. Because I hadn't lost a loved one. Right? I could stop sleeping because I needed to get out more and see more people? Right?

I won't deny that being a good Muslim will fix you in time. God is there for us. Even the weakest and the worst sinners. But unless you have better things to say to a person dealing with themselves then you should keep your judgmental opinion to yourself. Period.