15 June 2014

Freedom.

Assalamualaikum ~

The thrid semester started a week ago and to be honest, all I wanna do right now is be home. I want my room back, my bed back.

Sure, I have new things to be thankful for, I have tons of new clothes and new things to learn.

But see, the worst part hasn't even passed yet. It's only the first week and I already declared that I might have a breakdown this semester because everything is just too damn hard.

My new classes and schedules are pretty much fucked up. I don't really like or enjoy my new lecturers. And I feel annoyed with almost everything. I became quiet again. I have no idea if people noticed or not but I keep things to myself a lot nowadays. I sit in the back of the car, I felt wrong losing my earphones and I bought a new pair today just so I can feel content with my own music. I'm not enjoying shopping anymore. All I think about is my mom and dad who had me worried sick for going off to Sarawak for a kursus or something. I can't have them far away. I need them.

I want to go home. I have a shitload of assignments and they make me want to sleep in all day because of how difficult they are.

And honestly, there are a lot of group projects this semester and that worries the hell out of me. First of all, grouping up with a person means not being able to give all of me into my own artwork, second, I'm an extreme procrastinator. But I tend to finish my work on time. But when it comes to having a partner, I can't find my own sweet time to do my work. I'm going to be forced to work earlier which never really brought out the best in me. I'm not joking. I can't do this.

No. I want to be home. I want my solitude.