04 January 2015

Growing up.

Assalamualaikum ~

Okay so yeah, about 10 posts ago, I seemed sad. And like I stated in my previous post, I hate to be seen as happy. Because I actually am not. I would know if I really am truly happy.

But aside from all the things that I'm going through, studies, family matters and daily life with friends, I realised now that I have changed or in other words, starting to actually grow up.

When my past came back to me, I thought I was better. But one of my best friend pointed out that I am only physically better. I lost 4kg due to all the workouts and dieting but now that's all gone since I got back into college. Damn expensive college food and the limited time and space.

So, I keep waking up everyday, feeling empty, wondering what I'll do because God knows in a few years, or a few months, my life will change drastically. I'm getting into my 20s and the people around me are getting serious with everything. Studies, work and relationships.

I would personally love to start my own business, I only have three problems. Time. Money.Consistency. I have done a lot of business that involves art since I was a kid and I was not happy with them. Mostly because I was careless when it comes to juggling with money and time.

Maybe I should venture into things that are more digital than manual. I need to have a kick-ass printer. Yep.

So actually, the point of making this post is to tell that I am finally able to COOK!


Embarrassing. I know.

Yes, I know. I'm already 20 and only now I realize that I can actually cook. Not that I was lazy or anything (well, that too) but there was a back story as to why I did not cook since I was younger. I blasted santan all over the kitchen trying to blend it.

Yada yada. What's important now is that I can say that I am qualified to become somebody's wife.

Aaaaand back to being sad. Yes, I'm still holding on to my past because nothing is ever set in stone. I'm still hoping, I'm still waiting and I won't stop trying.